It's an odd feeling... being so aware. When I look at him now, he doesn't look exactly the same. and I don't feel exactly the same. Every time I get frustrated, I see my part in all of this. Me trying to control him because I don't like what he had to say, or how he said it, or what he's thinking because it doesn't make any sense!!!
But the friend in me just wants to talk to him about my new revelation... I want to tell him about this and what we could BOTH learn from it. I want to share my new found wealth, because it's exciting for me to learn and I WANT TO SHARE with him!!!
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i've been thinking about our conversation alot, and I get it...we love too much and we want them to be nice. not say things that are mean. we definately want control over that, but don't really self-assured people want that too? sure we have our moments of weakness when we feel we accept too much. even the lucky people that had better childhoods. we all want to be treated with respect and love. i find myself really coming into my own now. learning, as you are, about things we want and don't want to accept or deal with. sure, it will always be challenging for us because we really...REALLY need the love.
i love you. i support you whatever you do. i know you only want to allow him...not make him see what's really in front of him.
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